My recent diagnoses are important discoveries that sewed together some frayed pieces of my life’s fabric. The effects from my Asperger’s (my Monument, which I will explain later) are underscored mostly by my being extremely uncomfortable around people. There are other positive and negative effects such as high creativity, deep focus, being a workaholic, an uncanny ability to remember groups of numbers, remembering names, talking to myself, lack of eye contact, fabric sensitivity, etc., that are part of my daily life, but it is the awkward context of the social drama that most deeply affects my psyche. It has shaped me into being more of a loner, even though I have a strong desire for friendship and to be charismatic. The fact is, I can only be around most people, especially groups, for a few minutes at a time. I find ambiguous comfort in “ghosting” people after only a few minutes of hobnobbing, working a room, or attempting conversation. Don’t expect me to start up a conversation in an airport or while standing in line; I will have undoubtedly already removed myself from the social context somehow. Even if I do appear to have charm and become entangled in some sort of flowing conversation, the self-doubt and guilt will likely follow so I will likely just stand or sit there looking pretty and silent, lest I fumble and tumble all over myself.